I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
