My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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