I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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