he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
