After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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