I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
