I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
