So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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