too bad you live with your parents still
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
