Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
