Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
