Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
