She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
