I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
