Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
