i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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