If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She bit a glass in half.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
