just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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