I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
