When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Someone signed my nipple.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
