last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
