Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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