Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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