What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
