5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
