So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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