This house was built for laser tag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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