You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
