now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
