the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
