I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
