Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
