just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
