Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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