do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
