he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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