I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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