Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My bed smells like the plague
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
