I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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