He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
