Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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