OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
