kristin has been a bad kristin
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
