I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
