Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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