WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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