We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
