Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
