Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
