I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
