Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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