I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
