there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Farmville is her only friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
