I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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